Teaching a Cat to be Independant

Something occured to me within the last year while hanging out at my friend's house. What if we could teach a cat to be self sufficient? Is this possible?

The Next Evolutionary Step for Cats

Upon further analysis, we decided that a cat could obtain independance if the owner followed these simple steps.

  1. Teach cat to use a can opener
  2. Apply for a credit card in cat's name
  3. Teach cat to use mass transit.

Step one is the most important. It teaches the cat a necessary skill for survival assuming a well stocked pantry. This will allow the cat to feed itself when the owner is not home which may be useful on its own if you like going on vacations.

Step two is a bit of a stretch. However, considering the fact that some credit companies will give just about anyone a card, this may be feasible. This will allow the cat to afford it's own food for some finite amount of time.

The final step is not completely necessary. If the cat lives far from any supermarket, it may be advantageous to teach it to use public transit in order to visit the supermarket. This will prevent any humiliation which may result from walking miles with a full bag of canned tuna.